Tuesday, August 2, 2011

What the hell?

Seriously, what the bloody fucking gorram hell? Everything's so screwed up right now I can't

Okay, Aimee.
Calm the fuck down and try actually explaining things.

It's August. August. People don't just go to sleep and wake up two months later. Never mind waking up in the driver's seat of their brother's station wagon in the middle of the night somewhere you've never seen before in the middle of the fucking woods when you last fell asleep in your own bed in the middle of May.

There was a laptop - my laptop - in the passenger's seat on top of a bunch of fast food wrappers. I don't even want to think about what's been in my digestive system these past few months. I mean, I was trying to go vegan. Guess that's out the window now. I'm not even sure why there's wifi out here, but the computer's already connected so I'm not complaining. It's also completely charged.

So I checked blogger, and I was logged into this Angel person's account. The profile picture was a greyscale version of mine, which was freakish enough, but they were following a few blogs I didn't recognize so I thought it was someone different. When I tried to log out and get to my account, though, it took me back to theirs...and I don't like what that implies one bit. Especially since I found out that I'd apparently lost two months worth of memories. And I guess I got a blog during that time, two, even though it's only one post and six followers (Lucas, you're the only one I recognize). So I kind of decided "screw narrative causality I need some help here" and now I'm writing this and - ugh, I need to keep calm. Why doesn't my brain understand that?

The rest of the car, as far as I can tell, is as trashed as the passenger's seat was (which is incredibly trashed), but the headlights were on and the keys were in the ignition when I woke up, and the gas tank's full. I keep staring at the forest around me and the dirt road ahead of me. I'm seeing things that aren't there dammit because people say it feels different when he's there and why the hell would he be gone the second I focused on one area.

Good god, I'm abusing italics. Guys, I'm pretty sure this is what sheer panic feels like. I'm going to get the hell out of this forest (backwards - the road ahead feels a bit sinister because I keep seeing things, and I'm pretty sure I'd have to have come from that direction to be parked like this) and find a place to calm down. A place with concrete and possibly people and no trees. I think I'll check back in once I'm more calm, probably in the morning, even though I doubt I'll be sleeping tonight. Things tend to be slightly less terrifying in the sunlight.

If any of you have any idea what's going on, please, speak up.

1 comment:

  1. Hey, Aimee, fucking hell it's good to see you back.

    Though I guess if you fell asleep in May I never fucking met you. In any event, it's good to see you awake and about.

    Be fucking careful.